Let’s talk about Respect.

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Lets talk about respect

 

So I had this bizarre conversation with a friend today. One in which he’s trying to clear up a misunderstanding and trying to apologize, but failing. Miserably. Pathetically. To the point where he’s annoying me all over again with the incessant swearing. And that really got me thinking- what the hell happened to respect?

 

I never really intended my blog to be a page from my diary, or somewhere to yak when word vomit sets in. But this, this is something I’m genuinely curious about. When did it become okay to swear and cuss like a drunk sailor in front of a girl? Alright, maybe the said girl can out-cuss you in five languages, but more emphasis on the fact that she doesn’t do so? I mean, at this point I don’t know if I’m being reasonable or otherwise. Obviously the situation has changed drastically from the days of bustles and hansoms, but there’s got to be a line somwhere? We live in a time where family dinners are eaten around a telly and when two people have a serious heart to heart conversation, it’s perfectly acceptable for them to text and update their status while they do it. Teens and and even tweens use the f word in every other line, and that’s just how it is. So maybe, if you take that into consideration, I’m   old fashioned and I’m over reacting. Though it still feels like I’m not.

 

What happened to holding doors open? Or helping girls out of cars, or with their grocery, or any of that chivalrous stuff? And if that’s too much to ask for, at least watching what you’re saying? I mean, none of us are saints or anything. Newsflash, we swear just as much as you do. Just not standing on a ramp with a bullhorn. Our friends and better halves hear our rants generously peppered with expletives all the time. That doesn’t mean we like every single conversation we have with another human being to be one incessant curse-fest. There’s a reason it’s a no-no, it’s disrespectful. Respect, you know. That thing where you don’t treat a girl like a piece of meat? Where you at least pretend to listen to what she’s saying and wait till she’s walking away till you let the testosterone kick in. Or if you’re a modern day saint, respect her enough to be a friend.

 

Maybe I’ve been exceptionally lucky with men. I’ve always had best friends who are guys, and good guys. I’ve hung out with them, partied, set them up with girls (and in one case, guys), I’ve heard them out when they ranted, held them when the cried, and been there when they fought. The bottom line in any interaction is respect. It always needs to be a part of the base, the foundation.

So yeah. Next time don’t bother saying sorry if you’ll need to wash that mouth with soap afterwards.

 

If I let you stick around till ‘next time’ at all.

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9 thoughts on “Let’s talk about Respect.

  1. pjb1943 says:

    Hello Cookie,
    Isn’t it terrible when, in a conversation with someone, every other word out of their mouth anymore (men or women) is sxxxt, fxxk, G.D. pxss !
    Has the quality of our education in language degenerated to this, the level of intelligence lowered so far that this is the only manner in which certain social elements can communicate. I remember a friend who was a priest talking to us about cursing and vile language one time and these are his exact words on the matter: “It’s a damned bad habit and it sounds like hell !” Coming from him it was a shock, and afterward a great many of us cleaned up our collective acts.
    As to “chivalry”…, it’s not dead. I now and then see it lurking out there in the wilderness…, but all too infrequently and it’s always a pleasant surprise. I guess I’m “old school” because this is just common behavior for me. It’s just good manners that aren’t taught anymore.
    Best to you
    Paul

    p.s. This was my first visit to your site…, but I’ll be back.

    Like

    • Hello Paul. 🙂

      That’s exactly my point. I’m not a prude in any sense of the definition, but I still find it strange when people are unnecessarily foul mouthed. I admit, I blasphemed my way through high school, but then probably every teen has their ‘phase’ and that wears off. Mine did pretty sharpish, too. Me and my best friend decided to be each other’s slap on the wrist and it took barely any time to quit.

      It’s not unreasonable to swear at stubbed toes and parking tickets and such like, the odd expletive is natural. Something I read when looking for an image was, “profanity is an immature mind trying to express itself”. That’s pretty much who our run of the mill cursaholic is.

      Hope you’re having a good day, and thank you for stopping by. 🙂

      Cookie

      Like

  2. Hi Cookie,
    You are spot on with your post. In my opinion, it all comes down to self-control when it comes to when it is and when it is not acceptable to use foul language. As a society, I’m not exactly sure when it became okay to spew profanity, in the presences of children, in the office or in front of women, but it most certainly is a modern issue and not a good one. I am most concerned that it is too late to put the genie back in it’s bottle, so I guess it is something that we will have to learn to tolerate, at least on some level.
    As far as chivalry goes, this is really a bi-product of a persons upbringing. I open doors for women, I hold my tongue in front of them when it comes to cursing, assist with the groceries (and the shopping) all of which might be considered chivalrous, but to me it is just common courtesy. My son, who is a young man in his 20’s does the same thing because he always saw me do it. Unfortunately, the military and a deployment loosened his tongue a bit, but we are working on that.
    Anyway, it certainly would be nice, as you say, to see “respect” come back into fashion again.
    Be Well,
    Dom

    Like

    • Hello Dom. 🙂

      You’re right, it really is self control. Also, like you said, something learned by example. As you said, your son saw you do it, so he’s hardwired to do it too. Nature and nurture both play a role in development, especially with behavior and etiquette. I don’t think that a not swearing movement will catch on. Frankly, I think I’ll be told to f*ck off if I tried that lol.Still, there’s a time and place for everything and cussing’s no different.

      I’ve witnessed people blab away in all the situations you mentioned, obviously, not a pleasant sight. The odd thing is, I’m in my twenties, and it still alarms me, how fast things are going downhill. Maybe I am old fashioned, but I have no space in my life for people who can’t show me enough respect. I give it, and I expect it. Like I said, old fashioned.

      Thanks commenting, and the follow. Hope you have a good day!

      Cookie. 🙂

      Like

  3. lly1205 says:

    I’ve always wanted to live in the days of bustles and hansoms, or at least the days of Austen… My friends in high school labeled me a “Victorian feminist” which makes almost 0 sense but sort of fits.

    I think that people these days have less awareness of, and consideration for others – I mean, it’s fine to swear if you are with a bunch of guys playing a shooter and they all are too! But it isn’t okay if you are working out a disagreement with a friend. Maybe some basic awareness would bring back more manners and respect?

    Lily

    Like

  4. Aisha says:

    You’re so right! I don’t think respect is something that can be taught, it should be second nature for people to be able to see the impact their words have on others but that might just be me giving too much undue credit to people. It’s very uncouth and it just shows how limited their vocabulary can be. We can only hope for the best.

    Like

    • Exactly! Respect is something you expect when you treat other people with respect! And really, none of us are young enough to blame it on age. We have a working head on our shoulderrs. We need to use it. Thanks for stopping by Aisha! 🙂

      Like

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