A Jealous Green
I’ve never really felt this way
It’s not something I can explain
For that matter, or comprehend
But I’d prefer to abstain
From being in your jealous shoes
Those dagger looks you’re giving me
The unfocused envious stare
Is really your speciality
There’s nothing you have that I want
Nothing that I’ll snatch away
So I don’t get why, jealous green,
You sizzle and you bray and neigh
It’s not a feeling in my grasp,
So I don’t quite know what to do
About the buckets of resentment
That you’re sending my way through
Grumpy and insatiable and
Grudging, shamrock eyed and vexed
Disgruntled and skeptical,
I can’t even tell what’s next!
If you live a perfect life and
Still crave for my blips and flaws
Maybe it’s your own little world
That needs fixing, sheathe your claws
And really take a look at yourself
(Not when you’re such a grassy shade)
Before you fixate, fillet me,
Hey, I just call a spade, a spade.
Jealousy. We’ve all felt envious of someone or something at some point in our lives. You switch the telly on and there’s a celebrity you want to be, or want to be with. A friend buys a car/diamond ring/ house that you would die for. A relative gets married, your neighbor wins the Lotto, really, it’s easy to be jealous.
In a way we can see it as a healthy emotion. You might want to work out harder because you want that Jersey shore guy’s abs. Or earn more and be the next youngest multimillionare. You can channel it as ambition, make it a driving force. Or if you’re a petty idiot, let it eat your soul from the inside out. Case in point a person I know, let’s call them J. So J lives like an arab sheikh. Her room is a monument to opulence and her lifestyle dedicated to hedonism. Despite every possible material comfort, every time we meet (and unfortunately, that’s a lot of times), it’s a singularly unpleasant experience.
The whole slit eyed dagger looks sequence just screams insecure! insecure! William Penn once said that the jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves. And it’s true too. I mean, to some extent I’m flattered that someone finds my life a source of constant envy. That’s only when I’m in a good mood. Whenever I’m not, the whole sour disposition and biting comments routine gets on my nerves, and then it’s bad tempers all around.
The concept of this corrosive kind of envy eludes me. Fine, it’s only human to desire what someone else has. But letting it get to you, to the point where you’re constantly frustrated and dissatisfied? I think that’s just kind of sad. And if you keep harboring that much resentment and negativity, it’s not going to stay hidden. Just like J who turns into a green eyed monster whenever me or my sister are around. I mean, really? No one likes a snivelling, sulky person. Not to mention being stared at is pretty creepy.
At the end of the day we’re just human. We have our faults and our weakness, but it’s up to us to control and correct them Preferably before they spill over into our relationships and interactions with other people. I honestly don’t know what I’ll do about J except grin and bear it, like always. What I do know is, I’m making it a lesson for myself. Next time I see someone holding a gorgeous bag, I’m not going to go boggle eyed. And if I know him/her, I’ll compliment her and ask her where they got it. In your face, J.