The Void

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The Void

There is a gap in the years
Where we would be, you and me,
The edges have faded and blurred
But it exists, eternally
Reminding me if I should pause
And think, that yes, i have moved on
But you can’t walk when you’re rooted
In the past, and one root is strong

Enough, to keep you tied down
Deep down, to where you’ve buried
That piece of your heart that broke
And fell away, you beg and plead,
But that little fragment of pain
Growing from death down into death,
Keeps you corded in that space
Steals your life, and breath by breath

You inhale that mountain of loss
The sands of despair, the unblessed,
Again it grows, but inside you,
There sits the weight upon your chest

And if time is all hurt and voids
Where tangle roots, inside, around
And while they pull you to and fro,
There is no peace left to be found
And in my space, the missing years
Where we would be, if you and me,
Existed, we would not have blurred
But you are lost, eternally

And so I am, still in my void
Trying to stitch and knot the ends
Of the fracture, it will not heal
But at least I have tried to mend
And even though you have have left
With a part of me, that has died
I hold the death of me and weep
Oh I have cried, oh I have cried.

I run my fingers over again
The misshaped fold sutured through
The surface is almost real, but
There is a void- no me, no you..

©CM
25.04.2013

There are some people you can’t let go of, no matter how much or how long you let go. Their existence becomes so irreparably entwined with the existence of your past, whatever it may be, that you can’t let go of one or the other, no matter how much you want to.

This poem was for all the people I don’t want to remember. I don’t want you. I don’t need you. I don’t want or need the past you’ve come to represent. I’m quite contented with a. void instead of angry strands woven into my life, to make a corded ripple every time I turn. I would prefer the cold floor to your support. So thanks, but no thanks.

The past doesn’t go away, I know. But it’s not the past I want to look at anymore. It’s the future, and you’re not in it.

Goodbye.

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23 thoughts on “The Void

  1. PapaBear says:

    Cookie, you leave me absolutely speechless…, and if you knew me better you would understand that is an unbelievable accomplishment. I love what you wrote but I don’t know what to say about it…, except that it’s just pure, raw, beautiful emotion.
    Paul

    Like

  2. purple says:

    letting go is much easier than it sounds huh? I can relate to this so well.

    Like

  3. Rohan 7 Things says:

    Love it Cookie. Very powerful and empowering! I know there’s sadness and pain in this poem but I feel a great sense of resolve, a sense of independence and hope.

    Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Rohan.

    Like

  4. Awwwwww…..I SERIOUSLY love your thoughts on your poems. No, sincerely, it’s one of the reason I decided to just read away on your blog faithfully. I’m not just in love as to how vast is your knowledge for so many things and the topic you chose to weave about, but also for the thoughts that drives them..

    They say, people are in our past for a reason✌💚💚💚✌😇

    Like

  5. Poetkatie says:

    A beautifully emotional piece

    Like

  6. andy says:

    Can relate to this cookie great stuff

    Like

  7. Sand says:

    I so wish I’d had the wisdom to sever relationships like these when I was your age. It would have saved me so much heartbreak. I did cut but then I let the people back in. I’ve done it again and again. They’re cut away now but, man, that was a long hard lesson.

    This is so deeply full of the feelings of betrayal which motivated the separating process. It feels as though you already know you won’t stop feeling. It also sounds determined to close those doors. You will, most definitely, keep feeling the hurts but you don’t have to leave yourself open for more of the same. The tender scar is better than another knife wound.

    This is excellent poetry. It lets the reader straight into the heart of your pain. A reader simply can’t ask more than that.

    Like

    • Thank you Sand. Doesn’t it seem some days that life is just one long, hard lesson after another?
      And you’re right. I doubt that I could ever stop feeling, and I hate that. What I’m a little satisfied with is that the mourning is now for the time I lost, instead over the person or the place. That part is a wretchedly twisted void that I’m grateful for lol. I don’t know the wisdom in that, but well, I’m okay that way. =P

      Thanks so much for reading, Sand. I’m just so reassured you liked it, and it wasn’t a rambling mess. =P

      Like

    • Thank you so much, Sand. =) my original reply seems to have vanished somewhere. =( buuuut thank you. =) I’m so happy it made sense, instead if being an endless ramble. =P =)

      Like

  8. Fuzzy bear says:

    Very good poem. But who would this person be you’re referring to?

    Like

  9. Madsies says:

    Very powerful Cookie. Haunting.
    Goodbyes are Painful. Very.

    Letting go is indeed a weight off the chest. But letting back in,………it's the same all over again……then you'll realize there's just no Hope…:l

    Like

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