Of Onions and Cuttled Minions…


Of Onions and Cuttled Minions


“Come ye! Come all! Epicurates!”
Bellowed the beet-visaged page
Propelling the loafing patrons
Down in a brothy rampage

To where the tables were laden
Set a-moaning, sulking brood,
Stuffed and jam packed, overflowing
With the choicest feast of food.

Nacho really, a cheesy try,
Quick the front seats were filling
All sat down, ample cheeked trotters,
Waiting for their stocky King

There he came! The King Onion!
Bringing tears to simpering eyes,
when really, they cut looks across
Kissing his ring, filled with spite.

And he sat down at the table,
At the head, grandly he said
“Letuce break bread, my dear minions!”
Grating his voice as all they fed,

Shovelling pies down their traps,
Heated talk of the ton’s missed steaks
Flying as the fat hit the fire,
Echoes of old ‘Let them eat cakes!”

And all the while, the King, he smiled
Watching the taming of the stew
They argued, to brie, not to brie,
One mustard, “Penne for your tortes?”

Coolly the King replied, “I’d say,
You’ve rather had too much to drink.
‘Tis not sage to yoke of me ,so
Bold, what it is I think…”

A rapid lul; befell the crowd
Paling the flushed and rosy cheeks
As fowl the mood sudden turned over,
And the knave knelt, afraid and meek,

“My King, I only meant to start
That the populace is a-starved,
While we sit, and thyme is but wasting,
Surely we’d spare a bite or half?”

And as he spoke, the room, it hushed,
Followed by loud guffawing cries
They laughed to think he’d feed the poor
Well now he’d eat humble pie!!!

Apoplectic, the King stood up,
Ready to have the minion’s head
But then, he gasped and clutched his throat,
Rolled over and fell stone dead!

And then his minister! His monk!
And all they fell, choking and blue
As the poison spread through veins
From the innocent bubbling stew…

Barely caring, the minion went
And threw open the golden gates!
And as the hungry city dwellers
Claimed the food, he stood in wait

And watched, as they who grew the food
Spared the ribs, eschewed the nuts
And honest men and women sat,
Instead of slack jawed halibuts..

Well! That was the fair end of that!
Maybe my tale is overcooked,
Stories of vice and gluttony
Are found in every story book

Forgive my impromptu salmon,
Mayhap my lines are overwrought;
Here I will take your kindly leave,
Leaving you with this food for thought…

c. CM



Well! Today has been a very interesting day so far…

A lot of strange stuff happened today, from funneling clouds, a yellow and gray rainstorm, many stubbed toes, and me eating a halwa roll stuffed with onions (yerrrgh, don’t even ask! Bleh!)  The highlight so far has definitely got to be this…


I checked my wordpress notifications and saw that my friend Sahm from over at The Arkside of Thought had reblogged one of my older poems. I clicked along and went through my older work, surprising myself, really. Not because it’s that good or anything, simply because.. well, it was that happy. Lately my work has been rather dark, I honestly don’t even know when I made such a drastic transition. Most likely it was gradual, but well, I was more than a little shocked. 





Well, I immediately resolved that all this moping out, intentional or not, wouldn’t do at all. I’m the sickeningly sweet one. Surely it was time to be sickeningly sweet company to myself too! In with theh happiez, out with the gloom! Shoo! Shoo! SHOO!!! 





And just then, in a very welcome pat on the back from the universe, my friend Aaron Cornett showed up in my News Feed. The new Permanent Travelers Anthology is out, and guess who’s in it too? 😀 😀 😀 




Yep. I’ve managed to switch off the hopping with mad excitement (and caffeine, but mostly excitement) but it’s temporary, Rest assured I will be back onto my Kangaroo imitation the minute I press ‘publish’. And, here’s the link!! Woooohooooo!!!


Permanent Travelers Volume III


Have  a grrrrreat! day, you guys! 

Beep beep! Vroooom!!! 

(whoops,that’s Rroadrunner!)



Cookie ❤ 






8 thoughts on “Of Onions and Cuttled Minions…

  1. Oloriel says:

    I loved this, the tone, the pacing the rhymes! I am also very happy for you, I could feel happy vibes from the letters on the screen. Hooray for cookies and anthologies!:D


  2. PapaBear says:

    OK, enough of this happiness and exhuberance…, yer scarin’ me t’ death!!! 🙂 Loved the poem, Cookie. Hope it was as much fun to write as it was to read. Also glad to see you coming back out into the light.
    Big Hug, darlin’ girl — Paul


  3. Mike says:

    Very punny. An epic (and epicurean) tale that I suspect took a lot of work to perfect, but perfect it is. Cleverly executed and most enjoyable thank you.


    • Thank you Mike! Have to admit I laughed on that one, I’m going to steal it too, if you don’t mind. =P it actually didn’t take so long. I just felt like it was about time I wrote again from wanting to write instead of just needing to. I juggled a few ideas, almost wrote about fried chicken instead. Glad you liked the end result, though! =)




  4. Madsies says:

    This poem is Hilariousssssssssssss. Very cleverly written. 😀

    And Kudos! \(-_-)/ Yayyyyyyyyyyyy to Coooookie!

    Halwa Rolls…..LMHO! XD

    Hail Cooie! ❤


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