When you have a broken person
Not shattered, not entirely whole,
Just a few really deep cracks
Running down to into the middle
How do you repair the damage
How to do fill up those breaks?
Erase the abuse, the signs
The marks of all the mistakes?
How do you seek forgiveness
How do you find peace, and find
Escape from yourself, to walk
And leave parts of you behind?
Or do you pick up the pieces
And mend just the best you can
Hope that your scars miss the light
Pretend you’re just another man
Living in the sea of faces
Damaged goods, sifting through sand.
Maybe there’s a different way
To do this, and to not feel
Growing older, growing colder,
All that I have seen is real
Forget all that’s unforgotten,
Hide behind the mask, the pain,
Damaged goods, accept the scars and
Maybe, learn to live again.
Maybe, learn to love again.
Some days, it’s very difficult to love yourself.
Days like that, when you feel empty, absolutely empty. When you’re walking and working robotically. Laughing mechanically. And all the while the cogs in your head are running in reverse gear, not thinking exactly, just.. empty. Some days, you are empty.
Maybe being damaged goods does that to you. You see more than you should, you feel more than you should. I’ve come to realize that it’s not all about seeking out happiness. The nothingness and the calm of the quiet nothingness are just soothing. Being blunted to the barbs of the world, it isn’t such a bad thing. ‘Empty’ is peaceful in a different way. Solitude is a double edged sword that can either polish you, or demolish you. Being alone with your thoughts, being alone with someone else and your thoughts, the very idea brings peace to my heart. Being empty is the fullest you can live, sometimes.
Or maybe that’s just me. Maybe I’m just bitter today. Tired, cold, bitter and resigned. Empty. Maybe….. Or maybe I’ve learned to be content with being content. Content with my life, my amazing friends, the people who love me, and occasionally, content with my share of the misery too.
Because ‘content’ doesn’t feel bad at all. ‘Content’ makes me happy.
Your empty headed