Total Internal Reflection


Total Internal Reflection

I built my heart with bits of glass
Splintered and cracked,
here and there
With every ounce of courage left over
And false bravado,
I lied
And I didn’t care

And he lied, it lied,
They spun the fantasy
And reflected, rainbow like,
In that prism
Of spiderwebbed glass
I spun some dreams for me

And I knew, of the fragile illusion
The caprice of winking images
With nothing behind
And yet, for that moment I stared,
I laughed
Convinced myself
I’d found peace of mind

And I know, it’s going to hurt
Unbelievably so,
When I break
when it breaks

But I can’t stop believing
I don’t want to stop believing
This beautiful lie,
These beautiful lies I made

Everything so precious
I shelter in my crystal heart
Is a fake

No wonder that, when it cracks,
so do I

I too am ready to break

© CM

I wish I could tell you so many things.

I wish I I had a way of not falling asleep thinking of you, thinking of everything you are, and everything we aren’t. Everything we’ll never never be.

I wish I could fall asleep without crying for it, for us. For me.

I wish I could look at myself in the mirror, and see anything except ugliness and hate. Anything except ridicule. I wish I could, but I don’t.

I wish at least some things would go right, the way I want them to, but nothing ever does, does it?

I wish that wishes would come true, but I know they don’t.

I had wished for you…

3 thoughts on “Total Internal Reflection

  1. Netta says:

    Wow! Totaly knocked over …This is brilliant !!!..My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to…..thank you for sharing.


  2. Madsies says:

    Beautiful. This crystal is a diamond. Love and hugs Cookie.


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