Alpha Male and Subhuman- What Feral Humans Do To Those Around Them
( or, Paradise Lost)
One of the earliest categorizations I remember making for my father, is subhuman. Animal. With progressive analysis over the years, I’ve come to add insecure alpha male to the list. Which makes me wonder about the male population in general. Are all men, at a certain level, just subhuman males competing to be the alpha?
It sounds slightly ridiculous to put in these exact terms, almost akin to a pack of dogs. But the parallels I’ve seen (with a detached clinical eye, or in retrospect anyway), seem to be nothing more than a feral dog gnawing away on a bone, snarling at any other dogs who come too close.
That’s actually how he eats. You can’t talk to him while he eats, he tends to snarl in your general direction. Literally stuffs his mouth till it overflows, grains of rice or gravy spilling out, chewing open mouthed. Gnawing on bones, spilling water or tea, wiping his hands on his shirt or on the chair. I learnt very early on to NEVER discuss anything that requires more than monosyllables responses, while eating. If I had the choice, I wouldn’t even eat with him (or live with him, for that matter), but there’s no choice, so it’s unpleasant and unavoidable. Mealtimes are ‘fixed’ in our house. Snacking is allowed at certain times, but once the table has been cleared, you can forget about eating. So it’s eat with him, or go hungry. Go hungry is followed by taunts and unpleasant behavior till the next meal, so it’s just eat with him. Eat with this drooling, feral animal.
I read in a lot of places that grown up lions kick the young males out of the pride. Other animals also push out any challengers for their authority. This is a running trend in the animal kingdom. In the same way, my father first pushed my brother out of the house, when he grew old enough to stand up to him. As far as us girls were concerned, my sister and mother and me, he employed psychological tactics in addition to simply physically overpowering us. No one can challenge his authority. He is cautious of whoever talks to us, wary that his lifestyle will be given away. The servants are terrified of him. Even us talking to the guards or the chauffeurs sends him into a seething blind rage, which then manifests by pretext of some other reason. Case in point when I told him the chauffeur is an honest man and we had some overtime wages to pay him. He declared that I was conspiring with the chauffeur against him, and now I’m banned from going to tuition in the evenings. Is there a price for honesty, I suppose I’ve paid it. Anyhoodles, it was the fact that I challenged his authority and provoked him, that brought it on.
Jealous rage. An ego as brittle as chips of ice. Narcissism to the point of self worship, righteousness to the point of bible thumping, pseudo godliness to the point where my house should be declared a shrine, and cunningness that would put lucifer to shame. This is a man who has systematically destroyed our lives, wrecked our personalities, killed our dreams, and left us wishing for nothing, NOTHING more than either our deaths or his. Are all men like this, at some level?
Are all men driven to assert themselves in this way? Is the divide between men and women really that vast? It’s not like I don’t know that there are good men out there. I’m just wondering if they have the same ‘animalistic’ urges too. I do know a lot of exceptional men, as well as seemingly normal men. While I can vouch for the former, I wonder about the latter.
Because outside the house, my beast of a father is an outstanding man. A pillar of our community. Philanthropic, ambitious, nurturing, god fearing. I wonder, how many of the supposedly good men I know are just that.
I wonder how many little girls learn what good men truly are, the way I did. I wonder what’s left to learn.