I saw you today, in a shop window
In that blue button up I recognized
that always turned your eyes
into the green of a forest floor
I didn’t get close enough to
see them, this time
I was just passing by
I only got close enough to realize
that you’re still painfully handsome
That I loved you then,
back in that short-lived when,
and I still do
I’ll probably never get close enough
to love you
I Saw You Today
I Saw You Today. It was the oddest thing. The last drunken night I’d sought you out, just for a look at your happy, put together life, came rushing back to me, coloring my cheeks with the blush of a girl who knows shame and regret, and wistfulness in the same mouthful. You stood out then. You stand out now. I saw your reflection in the shop window as I walked past. I was too scared to stop. Too scared to turn around and look again. Too far away when I remembered that you had no business being in my part of town.
Too cynical to even think for a moment, that you could’ve come for me. That ship sailed, hit an iceberg and split into two, and sank to the bottom of an ocean of unnameable horrors, where the skeletons of our lives are buried restlessly, only to ripple in fierce storms.
Storms. You used to flinch at thunder.
It was the most amusing thing, the first time you did it. A full grown man, one as magnificent as you laying next to my humble limbs, flinching at the sounds crackling sky. I don’t even remember how you wrapped your long limbs around me that night. In retrospect, we were a pair of the oddest jigsaw puzzle pieces that ever fit. I don’t remember how I even slept that night, half suffocated under your weight.
Oh, who the fuck am I kidding. I remember. Every time I reach the bottom of a glass I remember. That. How your hair was straw colored in the sunshine, and brown when you walked out of the shower. How your eyes switched so crazily quick between green and brown that I could always tell what you’re thinking. I want to see them change color for me, flicker to that dark green one more time at me, I want to see your eyes and to be able reach up to you on my tip toes again.
But I can’t. Because I saw you today, and I know that you’re a stranger. And all I am, is lost in reflection.
Das All, für J. Refraction is Real too.
Good Monday Morning, my lovelies! ❤️