Some Days, We Are Enough 

Some days, we simply cannot. Other days, we flourish. Some days, we need each cell to function barely normally. 
Some days, we are not enough. But together, on some days, we are…. 
❤️

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Anorexia 

Anorexia 

Thought starvation, for a period of time
Doesn’t do me any good
The pathology’s the same, like the stomach
The brain too needs its food
Denied a victim, the gastric acid
Into its own walls leaks
-similarly, a concentrated vitriol
An empty mind keeps

Atrophied ideas, dessicated hope
But what’s a hungry girl to do?
When muddied flirtations blend into one another
Faded bruises written black and blue
When nausea becomes a sentient sensation
When you’ve cauterized your heart with self wrought ablation
What’s a girl to do?

I thought too much, now I want to be thin
Your beauty’s enough for both of us, who
Cares about my within
I’ll be like you, just words and skin
Hollow cheeked and empty eyed,
But it’ll do
Hungry, but
Just
Like
You

© CM
21.10.2016

I learnt that being hungry for love is nothing compared to being hungry for respect.  There are some things that just strip you of your dignity.

I don’t remember the last time I felt this small. I think I need to take a break from everything. I might be offline for a few days.
My love to all of you,

Cookie

To Kill A Man

To Kill A Man

Too many ways to kill a man
Not enough ways to save him
Too much pain brought on by his own hand
How could the prognosis be anything, but grim?
Be accused of prejudice, fat shaming,
When you advise a patient to lose some weight
A society that works for weekend alcohol
Is not easily convinced to moderate
Point to sky high cholesterol on charts
And you’re looked at with sullen or unconvinced eyes
Threats of liver cirrhosis fall flat
Unlike liver enzymes, which soon upwards rise
That jaundice isn’t merely you feeling yellow, my dear
– At this stage, it could be carcinoma in disguise

But red wine’s good for you! the specialists say
And it is, so is beer – but a little a day
Your liquid weight in vodka might help your depression
But it’s not going to keep the doctors too far away
And what of a nice steak? Mash taters, rashers, et al?
They protest – it’s just protein, GoogleDoc said it’s okay!
-In small portions, and lean is still better protein
Not, though, if you’re going to chase it with a souffle

And don’t even get me started on these diet fads
Ketotic, acidotic, kidneys almost failing
Still pushing away no-carb or no-fat, insistent
All the while, pulse irregular, or vitals flailing
The problem’s that there is no cure for ignorance
Fragments of info will give you fractured health
Would you take your sick cat to a plumber?
No, right? – then why do we invite this stealth
This truculence, resistance. We know it’s online
And please do read up on your illness, that’s fine
But don’t self medicate a horse for a zebra
You can’t fix erectile dysfunction with Clozapine
You can’t be obese and think that you’re still fit
‘Fit’ means ‘in fitness’ – there are dimensions to it
And yes, we have sleep meds we will not prescribe
Till we know that you’re clean, that you’ve really quit

It’s not a petty thrill – we have a moral code
It’s not that we’ll throw pills at you by the boat load
That’ll fix all your problems- no, we are looking out
For what’s best for you, it’s part of our oath
There’s too many ways to kill a man, and
Not nearly enough to save him
But with a little luck, and a little cooperation
The prognosis doesn’t really have to be grim

 

©CM
17.04.2016

 
Day 17. Maybe I cheated a little on this one, because I write from the medical dictionary pretty often (Broken Heart Syndrome, anyone?). This prompt was still fun to write, though. And made for a terrific break from studying.

And now *grand flourish* coffee time. Hope y’all are having an amazing day!

Cheers,
Cookie

Head Injury

HeadInjury

 

 

 

That’s why they call it ‘falling in love’
It tends to smack you in the face
Or make you stumble and dive headfirst
And you notice that the stars above
Are suddenly brighter, the pace
At which the world turns, is slower
The Heavens are lower, within
Your reach, your skin
Is painted, and each
Of the colors
Belong to someone else
The music of the universe
Crescendos and quells
It bruises you, the force
Of your spiritual ascent
Physically, simultaneously,
Expect a descent
Confusion, confabulation
Disorientation
Falling in love, therefore, is
Practically a concussion

 

 

©CM
04.01.2016

Charts

Charts

I am not anemic
I do not quantify for
Hypovolemic shock
My oxygen saturation is perfect
No dizziness, no fainting spells
I can talk, I can walk
I’m a complete pretense of normalcy
The facts and figures are
impeccable
-there’s nothing wrong with me
Then why
Are my pulses stable
When my heart feels
Empty?

© CM
22.12.2014

The Science of It

The Science of It

I did what you said
Drowned my feelings in science
In explaining signs
Reduced the fact
Of my existence
Into blood, fiber, and bone
To mechanics alone
So that my hands are only
prehensile structures
My eyes only visual organs, I see
That sodium and potassium, not feelings,
Perpetuate me

I am ion channels and pathways
That fibrous tissue and alveoli
Not you
Hold the air I breathe

I summarized myself
In theory and figures,
Instead of
truth and lies
I wish that what you took away
Could be simply replaced
By Valium or Xanax
Or Statins or Propranolol
Or Glimiperide

But when my heart contracts
There’s still more than muscle fibers
Shrinking inside

© CM
12.12.2014

Imperfections

20140730-185407.jpg

Imperfections

I lay my
imperfections
on the table
One by one,
define my flaws
Outline my various
Shortcomings
Tag,
Elaborate
Each clause

Mark them out
In black, and white
Tell you why
My faith
Is a ruse
Why I am so
crippled
incomplete
What makes me so
Damaged
Used

One by one,
You count them with me
Show me how the
Faults
Add strength
The convolutions
Build character
How the shadows
Are my friends
How my comfort zone
extended
Enumerate
The times I broke
Versus
The times I mended
Just like that
Erase
My strokes

I am whole
In realization
Not just when
You hold my hands
But also when
I am alone,
I am whole,
I understand

You make me see
In the darkness
Comprehension is
Liberating
You obliterate each
Imperfection
Just by being
Just by being

© CM
30.07.2014