Soliloquy 

Soliloquy


Another restless night
Too many words, not enough coherence to write
Condolences to somnolence, insolence to shut eyed
Indolence, this impudence, ambivalence, outright
Defiance, to every effort painstakingly contrived
To write, to write, to write!

Depart me my reason, reject all these claims
Descensions into insanity do not deserve to be- Proclaimed!
Exultant, victorious, come
Look at me
The babble pours forth in bubbling nonsense
Loquacious- look, I am crazy!
I see, I see, I see
Books like headless angels flapping around me
Rooftops in the darkness, methods to the madness
Vehemences of inspired
grandiloquence
One simple minded, self convinced confused woman
Starving on the sustenance of anemic omnipotence

You conspired to inspire me
You forced me to think
You made me cry
All I ever wanted was a quiet moment
Silence
You and I
Two moons in the sky
Deprived of that meager solace
Have my raving soliloquy instead
I’m done, I’m almost empty

I wonder

Tonight

Could I finally

Fly?

©CM
30.09.2016

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Of Madnesses 

The world came full circle 

Three hours past midnight

My heart grew full as the

Moon grew empty, and all

Semblance of reason shrunk away, contrite 

There is no one to hide behind

There is no one at this time

There is no one 

This is why I drink the nights away 

This is why I write

Madness 

Isn’t seeing things 
It’s opening your eyes

And seeing yourself 

‘Of Madnesses’
©CM

29.06.2016

Head Injury

HeadInjury

 

 

 

That’s why they call it ‘falling in love’
It tends to smack you in the face
Or make you stumble and dive headfirst
And you notice that the stars above
Are suddenly brighter, the pace
At which the world turns, is slower
The Heavens are lower, within
Your reach, your skin
Is painted, and each
Of the colors
Belong to someone else
The music of the universe
Crescendos and quells
It bruises you, the force
Of your spiritual ascent
Physically, simultaneously,
Expect a descent
Confusion, confabulation
Disorientation
Falling in love, therefore, is
Practically a concussion

 

 

©CM
04.01.2016

Imperfections

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Imperfections

I lay my
imperfections
on the table
One by one,
define my flaws
Outline my various
Shortcomings
Tag,
Elaborate
Each clause

Mark them out
In black, and white
Tell you why
My faith
Is a ruse
Why I am so
crippled
incomplete
What makes me so
Damaged
Used

One by one,
You count them with me
Show me how the
Faults
Add strength
The convolutions
Build character
How the shadows
Are my friends
How my comfort zone
extended
Enumerate
The times I broke
Versus
The times I mended
Just like that
Erase
My strokes

I am whole
In realization
Not just when
You hold my hands
But also when
I am alone,
I am whole,
I understand

You make me see
In the darkness
Comprehension is
Liberating
You obliterate each
Imperfection
Just by being
Just by being

© CM
30.07.2014

The Undefined

und

 

 

The Undefined

I think I have loved you,
As long as I’ve known
Just that, in time’s passing,
Realization’s grown
Small help that it does me,
To know what I know
For It changes nothing,
All remains, just so

We don’t build tomorrows
We don’t even say
Who, or what we are,
Ahead of today
It scares me, the depth of
What I feel, and worse,
How much I cannot do
Beguile or coerce

Shadows of misgivings,
Apprehension borne,
Threaten the lines of love
We have drawn in stone
You are hope, you are dreams,
You are strength, within me
Yet, you say nothing to
Kill the uncertainty

And there’s naught I can do,
But wait, wait
And see,
While the rest of my life
Unravels, slowly

©CM

05.03.2014

Restless Ripples

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Restless Ripples

Restless ripples spread
From
The center of a teardrop
Falling into a mirror
The mirror of the sky

Twinges, flutters of unease
Jar and splinter, sudden cease
Lending wings of ashes to
Thoughts, which shouldn’t fly

Unsettled, watch me tremble,
As the loneliness assembles
Walking every step, a stumble,
Watch me shudder, inward cry,

In the silence, and the fear,
As I wait your voice to hear,
Watch me claw, come back alive
Uncertain, but holding on,
Each and every time I die

© CM
16.01.2014

She

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She

She flutters a hand idly, while she talks,
Rolling her eyes at some imagined slight
Smirks mirthlessly at bitter recollection,
But then laughs out in genuine delight
The corners and angles are just a facade,
She has naught but softness for those let inside
For all they’ve stolen, all they’ve taken away,
They still haven’t gotten all of her fight

I see her blank out, in vague introspection,
Her mind seeking corners that shun the night
It feels like I know, I really do know her,
And then she morphs, shows this new other side
That is totally alien, completely unknown,
A quiet raging inferno, burning sans respite,
Simmering restless within an ocean of blue,
Simmering, yet, as she burns in her light.

Sunlit, unbidden, I see her glow dim,
Bending unbreaking to everyone’s whims,
All the while learning, pliant and compliant,
Choosing to drown when the lessers will swim,
Standing against the tidal wave of the day,
Choosing to sip life overflowing the brim.

It seems she is strong, sometimes, even faultless,
Revels in her darkness, a rebel to the rest,
Sometimes she is crystal, fragile and whisper thin,
And then she will turn around, once again, the fearless,
Enigmas are woven into her own shadow,
Let alone the shadows that follow her footsteps
Puzzles so intriguing, I wish I could solve her,
Her magic remains undiminished, nonetheless.

She looks at me, knowing, and knowing, she falls,
The girl in the glass fades into the wall…

© CM
01.01.2014

KA-BLAM!!! =D

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

First off, monstah sized hugs all around! Tis the first of January, post the season to be merry, etc. Hope you guys had a great new year’s eve, and night, and even if it wasn’t aaaalll that great, here’s hoping the rest of the year brings you tons of cheer! =)

I’ve been a little off my game lately, I hope I wasn’t conspicuous by my absence (much. I’ve had some worried emails, and just clearing up, I’m one hundred and ten percent fine! You guys know me, down but never out, and up and back before you can blink! =) ) I’m also really sorry for making some of y’all fret. ’twas unintentional, and all things considered I had a pretty busy and good week, hope you did too.

In the rush of things though, even just round the corner from Xmas and the spirit of giving and receiving, spending time with family, friends, strangers, whatever your scene may be, the question in my thoughts is, how well would you say you know yourself? How much time do you spend by yourself? And how good are you at keeping yourself company?

I mean, sure, we all have our friends, our circles, our hangouts. But what of the places and the people you can be quiet with?.. The minutes and hours where you do nothing at all but think in amiable, quiet company. The evenings and nights when you’re alone, and you’re fine being alone, being uninterrupted and being with yourself. And even in those moments of introspection, how far into yourself can you see?

Because that clarity of thought evades me, some days. The ability that some people possess of being able to see into themselves, knowing their own selves through and through, I think it’s something to be envied. It’s not as I’d I’m completely lost, but well, not completely in control either. And while maybe complete control may elude me for a long time yet, I would definitely like to work on a crystal clarity of thought and perception. Maybe that can be my new year’s resolution, wahey. :p

So! How well would you say you know yourself?

Hugs,

Your curious and kooky

Cookie ❤

PS. Extra hugs for comments! Yep, I'm bribing you! :p