Meat Atoms 


Meat Atoms. Lumps of blood and flesh with indecipherable chemical impulses, derived from measurable stimuli. We grow from one cell to being Beings, with destinies and dreams and back to organic matter, crumbling under the soil. We are the molecules of the universe. We matter. 

Destiny 

 

Destiny is such a strange thing

Some of us take the same paths

Twenty more are walking

All in a hurry to pass

The rest, and surge ahead

Treading on footsteps still fresh

Where the dust has not even settled yet

Repeating victories of our own imagining

But some of us stop, and

Carve roads of our own

Eschewing the rest, to

Where none existed

Hewn out of rock and stone

Scraggling through impassable terrains

Struggling to stand, then walk alone

Which is destiny?

Is the man who walks the beaten path

a man who cannot see?

If I burrow through a mountain for

My whole life

Is that foresight? Or tunnel vision?

What if the stream dries, halfway home

Before it reaches its destination?

Was that my part, or is carrying the pennant ahead, it?

How much is foretold? How much writ?

How much of myself do I follow,

what part do I create

What fraction is preordained, what value self made?

Have I chiselled myself for greater things

Or has Fate?

Because there are footprints behind me

And nothingness where I push through to

Destiny, you are a strange thing

And I don’t know, whether

Ambition or folly are winning,

But how much of this is me

And how much you?

(c) CM

30.09.2016

I ask to give credit,  I ask to lay blame. For every decision I chose to take, I can count two that I had to take- and even with my choices, where did the choices come from?

Who am I, to plan and scheme and chart my future? I don’t even know what I’ll have for dinner tomorrow night. Every time you switch the TV on, you hear of so-and-so number of people who were killed by an attack or killed in a retaliation. Did they decide to become a statistic? Did someone make them a statistic? Who made them a number? Am I a number, are you?

And what have I done, that I was allowed to live, and agonise over stupid things like what shoes I should wear today, when in some corner of this human hive, someone looked at the sky with flickering life for the last time? Am I worth more than them? I know I’m not. Luck, merest chance keeps us alive. Something unidentifiable keeps us alive. Master of my fate, captain of my soul- really?

I think not.

Whether or not you choose to believe in a higher power, believe in this. You are inches away of from being a statistic. You are a passenger, you are evanescent, you are inconsequential, you are mortal. You are small.

But you are not weak.

We choose what we leave behind. Even if we do not choose our options, we have some control over our choices. We are all here, and we are all leaving, sooner or later.

Choose what you will leave behind. That much, I think, is left to us to see. That much is not just destiny.

Love, love, and light,

Cookie ❤

The Finding

20130729-172155.jpg

The Finding

I looked for it, in lines of leaf,
I read the veins of green
I heard the turning of the wind,
It was not to be seen
I twirled in shade of idle waters,
I searched in the skies
And then, in sparkling clarity,
I found it in your eyes…

I looked for gold within the sun,
Too brown, hazel, honey,
But then the light went through your hair
And golden came to be..
Just like the velvet ladybug
Strolling across my arm,
A hug of fur, a soft feather,
Your touch renders me calm…

Just like the oak I rest against,
The shadow on my brow,
You shelter me, envelop me
And only hope allow
I sought to seek blind happiness,
And walked miles, miles through, Passed the threshold of sentience,
And found it all in you…

©CM
27.07.2013

Find them.
Hold on.
Never let go…

Hugs,

Cookie ❤

Does It Matter At All?

20130628-163445.jpg

Does It Matter At All?

Does it matter, any of this,
Does anything matter at all?
Am I to stand here, thus chained
And look on as the sky falls?
Watch every seeping ochre road
Watch the venom flowing free,
Everything that hurt me once
Now hurting those around me?

Trapped and struggling in midair
As the necromancer calls
One by one, the empty bodies
Dancing like pitiful dolls
Here a bruise and there a crack
Thunder and lightening, and pain
There is no magic in this
There is no light in blood stains

And I’ve seen this all before,
I remember every step
It was branded into my being
In my heart that hurt is kept
Yet again my curse repeats
It plays out in front of me
A nightmare anniversary
Heard in loud, shrill cacophony

Wails and tears, everything here
Pulling me and mine so deep
Into its malevolence
Off a jagged cliff so steep
And I am ragged again
Old cuts opening in thrall
And I cry in keening screams
God, does it matter at all?

© CM
28.06.2013

Going through a nightmare.. It’s not so bad, when you kick and bite and fight, and drag yourself to the other side.

But when you turn back, and you see the people you love, more than yourself even.. You watch them suffer like you did.. Look for answers in all the places and things you tried.. When you see them go through all that… God it hurts so bad.

It’s been a terrible day, and I’m just going to sleep now.. Hopefully I’ll wake up with the strength to deal with more of the same…

Love and strength to you all as well.. I hope those of you who need it as bad as I do, find it…

Cookie ❤

You Will Come

Image

 

 

 

 

You will come

 

You will come to me
Whether or not you like it
Whether or not you think it
Whether or not you know it,
You will come to me

You will come to me
When your bones scream in protest
No matter what you’ve professed
Even if you’ve confessed
You will come to me

You will lie to me
With practiced, perfect diction
To make a fact of fiction
Bolstering your depiction
You will lie to me

You will say to me,
This was never done,
That you’d never reckoned
And now your voice you shun
But you will say to me

And you will pray to me
Begging for my mercy
Pleading for that heady
Rush I give, but maybe,
So you will pray to me

And you will come to me
When nothing more is left
Unhinged and crazed, bereft
Your mind huddled in clefts
Then you will come to me

 

You will come to me..

 

©CM
13.03.2013

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ouroboros

20130308-212310.jpg

Ouroboros

 

 

Once again, revolution
Round and round the wheel turns
Currents moving with the stars
Foamy chopping waves churn
As the sky moves across the
Canvas with its practiced ease
And the constellations sigh
Revolutions will appease

Melancholy, just for
So long, just so long
After countless roundabouts
There will come a swan song
And the burning galaxies
Will flare and flame, and fade away
In the empty void, they
Will never have a word to say

Never they murmur again
Never will they sparkle, or
Ever laugh so brightly,
When they travel ‘cross, for
In the empty voids they
Left behind a monument
Of a space so soon filled
Tho’ missed the ones who went

They are gone, and more have come
Fill the cycle, fill the works
And again the revolutions
In the silence, and the quirks
Of the old will be gone
But the new will shine bright
And again the stars move
‘Cross the face of the night

And again, revolutions
Moving always, moving on
Endless darkness, then the light
In each dusky, rosy dawn

Take me ‘way, Ouroboros,
Take me on, on with you,
Lead me on to the next
Revolution, take me through
To whatever lies ahead,
Ouroboros, take me ‘way,
Take me ‘way, Ouroboros,
I grow weary of the day

Take me to the next dawn,
Take me past the blurred dim
Into worlds of clarity, at
The mercy of a whim
And the powers unknown,
Push the spokes of the wheel,
Push along the winds blown
Far ahead of what’s been

Far above eternity,
And I call to you, pray
Ere my wings melt, oh
Ouroboros, take me ‘way

©CM
08.03.2013

 

 

People say that history repeats itself, when no one listens. Sometimes though, you take every word of the lesson life taught you down, and engrave it across your heart, emblazon it across your mind never to go down that path again.. And fate comes along.
All of a sudden you’re doing that which you never wanted to do again. And there’s no way around it. No climb or fall that will circumvent the thorns you know are coming your way.

What do you do then? Do you curl up under a rock, and pretend like its not happening? Do you backtrack, retrace your steps and run away as fast as you can?

Or maybe, just maybe, you acknowledge that you’re being given a second chance… To do everything over, and do it right this time. Recognize the places and the persons where you went wrong, and make your way across to the other side? Maybe this time, you’re going to erase that banner you burned in your head, as this time paint it over with golden letters?

It’s all the ouroboros. The same cycles of season, of moving constellations, of people, of life.. They pass by us again and again.. And again. We can choose to stand on the river bank and let it all rush past us.. Or we can choose to ride the serpent.

This time, we can guide the serpent.

 

 

Love and light,

Cookie ❤