I want to open my mouth
and have only rainbows pour out
with that same breathless quality
with which nightmares tear the ground
Flowing from my ears at night
Wild-maned terrors, champing to bite,
Iron shod hooves tossing restlessly
while my own twisted feet make no sound
except their untangling, in bedsheets strangling
slowly, insidiously, ‘round my neck snaking
Fingers cold as death on my own shaking
straining for the nearest light, to put down
the shutters, the shudders of whatever horrors
metallic-tasting dreams and bruised lip murmurs
rustling threateningly, behind creaking floodgates
Cracked fingernails leaking ink, insistently loud
But because I will,
I open my mouth
and have only rainbows pour out
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Floodgates | Yusra
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What are you not telling anyone? .
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I feel as though I am frequently guilty of this. Of simply rolling over and falling asleep, and ignoring some nagging unwellness that has been pestering me. But it scratches at you, making you increasingly restless, till it starts spilling over into the part of your life that you only ‘portray’. When the person you are is unwell, it’s only a matter or time before it starts leaking into the person you’re supposed to be.
For the sake of metaphor and stunted humor, let me say: we’re nothing more than giant bathtubs. If you don’t deal with how much is swirling in there, pretty soon it’ll be sweeping out from under the door and reaching the guests in the living room.
But it’s not about the guests at all. People who visit you don’t live with you- you live with you. We none of us take the time to recognize our existence as a little, self-contained biome that needs a little tending to flourish- and a little pruning. If the diseased parts and chipping fingernails don’t get trimmed regularly, you’re not going to be growing.
And that’s already too many house- and body part analogies, but I’m going to leave you (and myself) with one last one: this body and mind house each other. And in levels of intensity, each one of them needs your care.
Open those floodgates now and then, okay? I promise you, there will be a rainbow over all that you’ve bottled in, flowing out. ♥️
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CALLIOPE'S LYRE 