Foothills

I’m in the City That Never Sleeps.

It doesn’t let other people sleep either.

How beautiful the stilled chaos can be…

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I Saw You Today

I saw you today, in a shop window

In that blue button up I recognized

that always turned your eyes

into the green of a forest floor

I didn’t get close enough to

see them, this time

I was just passing by

I only got close enough to realize

that you’re still painfully handsome

That I loved you then,

back in that short-lived when,

and I still do

But

I’ll probably never get close enough

to love you

I Saw You Today

©yusra

23.11.2017

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I Saw You Today. It was the oddest thing. The last drunken night I’d sought you out, just for a look at your happy, put together life, came rushing back to me, coloring my cheeks with the blush of a girl who knows shame and regret, and wistfulness in the same mouthful. You stood out then. You stand out now. I saw your reflection in the shop window as I walked past. I was too scared to stop. Too scared to turn around and look again. Too far away when I remembered that you had no business being in my part of town.

Too cynical to even think for a moment, that you could’ve come for me. That ship sailed, hit an iceberg and split into two, and sank to the bottom of an ocean of unnameable horrors, where the skeletons of our lives are buried restlessly, only to ripple in fierce storms.

Storms. You used to flinch at thunder.

It was the most amusing thing, the first time you did it. A full grown man, one as magnificent as you laying next to my humble limbs, flinching at the sounds crackling sky. I don’t even remember how you wrapped your long limbs around me that night. In retrospect, we were a pair of the oddest jigsaw puzzle pieces that ever fit. I don’t remember how I even slept that night, half suffocated under your weight.

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding. I remember. Every time I reach the bottom of a glass I remember. That. How your hair was straw colored in the sunshine, and brown when you walked out of the shower. How your eyes switched so crazily quick between green and brown that I could always tell what you’re thinking. I want to see them change color for me, flicker to that dark green one more time at me, I want to see your eyes and to be able reach up to you on my tip toes again.

But I can’t. Because I saw you today, and I know that you’re a stranger. And all I am, is lost in reflection.

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Das All, für J. Refraction is Real too.

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Good Monday Morning, my lovelies! ❤️

Membranes

Reality, as a membrane

is so very thin

It stretches over my probing fingers

I breach the taut whisper

And in the moment it

replaces my skin

pushing into nonexistence, across

The barrier I blindly feel

between time and place, flaws

ripple, faults splinter, I

cannot hear the walls implode

My middle ear collapses and

I pause on the lip, pigeon toed

Perched on the rift

Jumping adrift

hanging out of a wound in the sky

I can almost touch you- almost

Maybe just one step more?

-Where does this road go?

Membranes

16.11.2017

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Where does this road go? Hang me from the torn clouds, string me up from the stars, rip a hole in the fabric of reality, I pushed myself face first into the unknown for you and I don’t even know where you are. Somewhere at a desk, where the window on the right has a potted plant with a drooping yellow flower, you’re leaning back in your chair, letting the noise of the room wash over you like the cold processed air spewing from the vent across the fat girl’s glittery table- it fills your ears, it’s filling your lungs, it’s filling your eyes, you choose not to care. Once upon a time, you tore the fabric of reality for me. You laughed and you shredded the meanings of what I held true into pieces into words and fantasies and utter absurdity. And then you shut the door. Your ink blue fingers flowed back together and poured themselves into crevices I hadn’t dared to expose.

Can you blame me, for tearing my mind apart, breaking windows into every wall I meet? Can you blame me for setting fire to every road behind me, looking for you, and trying to understand why I even do?

Wait. Here’s a fork. Where does this road go? .

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Membranes | yusra

Find me on Facebook, beautiful people. I know I’m late to the social media party, so help me spread the word?

And the cookies. Love. ❤️

Querulous 

If you were to sit in front of me, and talk about the weather, it would take the turn of seasons for us to find and understanding. If you were to find me when looking for a canvas to display your musing on, then.. that’s what you’d see. All men are somewhere between white paper and mirrors, to those who know the right questions, we are but answers. So scratch the table with your fingernail, stand on edge of that cliff, and ask. We are two steps away at any moment from cabbages and kings, from ravens and nevermores, and irreparably broken wrists. Take the step and unsettle me, look for all the wrong words with the right intentions, stain your fingertips in my glass and for god’s sake, ask. I am an answer for those waiting to be rendered querulous. 

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(I blame my coffee entirely, for how full of myself I am today. 😄) 
Have a lovely day, my beauties. ❤️
-yusra 

Rock and Sea

Rock, and stone, and hill. The first step I take, into the air- I know this air. The first step I take, onto the ground- and I know this ground. This salt, this earth, this dry, cracked dust, this is what I learnt to stand in. This parched sky is what i took my first breath to. This tract of land, shunned and forgotten, is what I walked out of, the last truly happy days my childlike mind would know. This is the ocean, that let me sail away. This is the shore, that brought me back. And every night, where I sailed the restless seas of the night in the ship my dreams builds, I’d come home to rest.

No, my country. I am coming back to you- but I was never away…