Crushed

Watching Colin Firth and Hugh Grant deck it out on a snowy street. Quite the thing for a Sunday morning. 💜

Happy holidays, you fabulous people. 🍀

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Under These Red Sheets

Under these red sheets,

I bury my morning dreams

The clay of the sky is raw

shaped by fingers that hesitated

to smooth the creases out of

intentions, prevaricated

allowed to harden, flawed

left to permanence, endowed

with the attributes of being just wrong

these tiles are poised to fall

These doors that lead to walls

dead ends of dust and bone

Tombs to mistakes preserved

of people and pain long gone

Under these red sheeted tiles

I bury mourning memories

Baskets of forgotten scents

routines of glories deceased

In corners, green shoots still crawl

traces of persistent hope

Pathological, sometimes it seems,

that cancerous happiness grows

I cannot hope to recover

the already hardened faults

the cracks that run, closed over

by vainly slapped on gloss

Broken girls grow into broken women

And despite the damage being done

The soil of my mind is fertile and

with stubborn resilience overrun

The dead wood still speaks to me

There is escape yet in these leaves

To nourish what I know I can be

Under these tiles I bury my dreams

©yusra

06.12.2017

Winter blossoms. 🌺

I Saw You Today

I saw you today, in a shop window

In that blue button up I recognized

that always turned your eyes

into the green of a forest floor

I didn’t get close enough to

see them, this time

I was just passing by

I only got close enough to realize

that you’re still painfully handsome

That I loved you then,

back in that short-lived when,

and I still do

But

I’ll probably never get close enough

to love you

I Saw You Today

©yusra

23.11.2017

.

I Saw You Today. It was the oddest thing. The last drunken night I’d sought you out, just for a look at your happy, put together life, came rushing back to me, coloring my cheeks with the blush of a girl who knows shame and regret, and wistfulness in the same mouthful. You stood out then. You stand out now. I saw your reflection in the shop window as I walked past. I was too scared to stop. Too scared to turn around and look again. Too far away when I remembered that you had no business being in my part of town.

Too cynical to even think for a moment, that you could’ve come for me. That ship sailed, hit an iceberg and split into two, and sank to the bottom of an ocean of unnameable horrors, where the skeletons of our lives are buried restlessly, only to ripple in fierce storms.

Storms. You used to flinch at thunder.

It was the most amusing thing, the first time you did it. A full grown man, one as magnificent as you laying next to my humble limbs, flinching at the sounds crackling sky. I don’t even remember how you wrapped your long limbs around me that night. In retrospect, we were a pair of the oddest jigsaw puzzle pieces that ever fit. I don’t remember how I even slept that night, half suffocated under your weight.

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding. I remember. Every time I reach the bottom of a glass I remember. That. How your hair was straw colored in the sunshine, and brown when you walked out of the shower. How your eyes switched so crazily quick between green and brown that I could always tell what you’re thinking. I want to see them change color for me, flicker to that dark green one more time at me, I want to see your eyes and to be able reach up to you on my tip toes again.

But I can’t. Because I saw you today, and I know that you’re a stranger. And all I am, is lost in reflection.

——————————————————–

Das All, für J. Refraction is Real too.

——————————————————-

Good Monday Morning, my lovelies! ❤️

Membranes

Reality, as a membrane

is so very thin

It stretches over my probing fingers

I breach the taut whisper

And in the moment it

replaces my skin

pushing into nonexistence, across

The barrier I blindly feel

between time and place, flaws

ripple, faults splinter, I

cannot hear the walls implode

My middle ear collapses and

I pause on the lip, pigeon toed

Perched on the rift

Jumping adrift

hanging out of a wound in the sky

I can almost touch you- almost

Maybe just one step more?

-Where does this road go?

Membranes

16.11.2017

.

Where does this road go? Hang me from the torn clouds, string me up from the stars, rip a hole in the fabric of reality, I pushed myself face first into the unknown for you and I don’t even know where you are. Somewhere at a desk, where the window on the right has a potted plant with a drooping yellow flower, you’re leaning back in your chair, letting the noise of the room wash over you like the cold processed air spewing from the vent across the fat girl’s glittery table- it fills your ears, it’s filling your lungs, it’s filling your eyes, you choose not to care. Once upon a time, you tore the fabric of reality for me. You laughed and you shredded the meanings of what I held true into pieces into words and fantasies and utter absurdity. And then you shut the door. Your ink blue fingers flowed back together and poured themselves into crevices I hadn’t dared to expose.

Can you blame me, for tearing my mind apart, breaking windows into every wall I meet? Can you blame me for setting fire to every road behind me, looking for you, and trying to understand why I even do?

Wait. Here’s a fork. Where does this road go? .

.

.

.

.

Membranes | yusra

Find me on Facebook, beautiful people. I know I’m late to the social media party, so help me spread the word?

And the cookies. Love. ❤️

Secant Lines Are Squared

Stand, on the other side of the world

Raise your fingers, touch my face

– No, that makes no sense

But it once did

It once did

You made more sense to me than

Biology and Physics

When you love me again

When you love me at all

These tangents will fall

Just raise your eyes to me,

and we will be

The opposite of a circle.

‘Secant Lines Are Squared’

Yusra,

12.11.2017.

Das All, für J.

Alles für ewig und weiter.

Find me on Facebook, everyone. I’d love to hear from you guys!

One Heartful 

Heute lernte ich, dass 

Einige Unendlichkeiten

Großer als andere sind –

Die Worte passen

in meinem Geist 

wie eine absolute Wahrheit 

in meine Knochen hielt fest –

Weil ich kenne wie

Die Wahrheit, dass ich dich liebe 

Ertrunken ist, 

In die Ewigkeit, dass du

mich verlassen hast –

.
☘️
Das All, für James.