Secant Lines Are Squared

Stand, on the other side of the world

Raise your fingers, touch my face

– No, that makes no sense

But it once did

It once did

You made more sense to me than

Biology and Physics

When you love me again

When you love me at all

These tangents will fall

Just raise your eyes to me,

and we will be

The opposite of a circle.

‘Secant Lines Are Squared’

Yusra,

12.11.2017.

Das All, für J.

Alles für ewig und weiter.

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Let Me Just Fall 

For James. Where there is a tomorrow. Where there is an honest love. Find me there. We only truly wait for what we are meant to have. 

.

I looked beyond you into the stars  

Outer space was not far from me   

But you remained a fallacy   

A galaxy of self deception  

I scrape my skin off my hands  

My nails blunt on my bones, but  

I feed this immolation
A schism of the tarry night   

Take your hand, reach for mine  

But you never will  

These stars have gone still  

Their burning eyes swill  

Cups of soot, poisoned glances  

Bittered tears, the ashes  

of my blazing, broken, disintegrating heart  
I looked beyond you into the stars   

Outer space was not far from me  

Unlike the ground, duplicitiously calling  

Promising non-existence, falling  

Wouldn’t be hard   

I looked beyond you into the stars   

Pleading that I could just be let to   

fall to you   

But you were so  

so   

so very far   

Let Me Just Fall 

For James. 

06.11.2017

To Kill The Sun 

It falls, like unwanted feathers, like sweat. Restless and stifling, the promise of rain like salt on my tongue. Luckily, I know how to wash away the salt. 
They’re kissing, god knows which number they’re on, getting more bodily, the couple in the balcony across my window. He fists his hand in her hair, and they push with the reckless of people who know no one is watching. I shift, to dangle my foot more freely across the window I’m straddling. I ash, and keep smoking. She sees me first, in one of her twisting glances. They slow down, glancing at me with obvious unease. She whispers something into his shirt, and he shakes his head. He goes on kissing her, and I keep watching. 
I light another cigarette. I turn back and he’s waiting for me to look. He blows me a kiss, with a cocky grin. She doesn’t like that at all. She fidgets against him, while he waits for a sign of approval or encouragement from me. I give him none, and stare back at his deadened eyes with my own leaden stare. He will carry me to the ground. For now, we tread the air. The girl is going back inside. I pour another drink. 
He comes back out, a bottle later. He’s buck ass naked, and evidently dissatisfied. There’s a splinter in my thumb, and I worry it with my teeth. He’s the one watching with unconcealed interest now. He rests his hip against his railing, and lights up, nodding at me. I stare, and slosh two fingers into my glass, and raise it to him. He smiles half heartedly, and turns fully towards me, watching. We watch each other. The sky dies. 
Poor bastard. Guess we’re both staying lonely tonight.

Love 

You watch him

You watch him laugh 

He’s holding her hand

They walk 

As if he’s stepping on air

In her wake

You might as well not

Be there

You stare

At that hand

You used to hold 

At that man

Who was yours 

Who walked out of your heart like

He never even was 

She laughs and

He gazes with the wonder

Of a thousand glittering stars 

In his eyes 

He finally sees 

Even though he doesn’t understand yet

For you

That’s what he used

To be

He bobs his head eagerly

Holds the door open

She sails past

She’s amused, he’s oblivious 

to the fact that

She’s not gazing back tenderly

Even from the sidewalk, you recognize 

That bemused expression

That detached air 

You remember your nerves fluttering around him 

And that’s the smile

He used to wear 

You watch the pantomime unfold

Not sure yet if

You’ve seen enough 

If you’re ready to go

You’ve crossed the signpost he’s

Walking towards

She will break his heart, too 

And he too will know 

Love 

©CM

10.03.2017